Post Mortem
by littlemisslol
Summary: In which Jack and Aster must escape hordes of the undead, evil gangs lead by crazy British men, and their own budding relationship. Or, as I like to call it, the Humanized Jackrabbit Zombie AU that just kind of happened. (WARNING: Contains all of the death and destruction of any other zombie AU, but just a heads up. Oh and swearing. Lots and lots of swearing)


**POST MORTEM – A JACKRABBIT ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE AU.**

Jetlag fucking _sucks_, E. Aster Bunnymund decides as he slips a key into the lock leading into his new apartment. It sucks _so much_ he can't even begin to describe it.

However, Aster thinks, one's gotta stay positive no matter how weary your bones and tired your brain. The world threw all kinds of shit at you, and it was a matter of jumping through the hoops until your next power up.

You have good days, Aster theorizes, and you have bad days. You've got days that are "meh," and days that are so fucking awful you just want to curl up in bed and die. You've got days that start up awesome, but end in the shitter. Days that start with the feeling of dread only to grow into the best goddamn day of your life.

E. Aster Bunnymund's day was going... okay. Not quite in the shithole yet, but not even close to great. Be it the 20 hours of jet lag that came with the trip from Sydney, Australia to New York, America, or maybe just the fact that all his shit had gotten held up in customs, Aster wasn't quite sure.

But as he opens the door to his brand spanking new apartment that would be nothing but a collection of empty rooms for the next four-to-five business days, he can't help but sigh in defeat and run a tan hand through premature (he's fucking 25 for christssakes) grey hair.

At least he had his clothes, right?

No books, art supplies, or homey comforts at all, but yay, clothes.

_Awesome_.

The apartment's nice, at least. Spacious but comfortable, with a crap and a half load of windows scattered about. It's small by his standards, but larger by New York's. But shit, seeing as Aster spent half his life running wild through the Australian outback with only minimal parental supervision, pretty much anything with walls and a roof seems small to him.

At least he had the good sense to buy most of the larger furniture in-country. Smart move Aster, smart move. So he's got empty bookshelves, a couch, a TV, and a bed, not to mention a window that looks broken.

_Awesome_.

But whatever, he's a big boy dammit and he can deal for the time being. Sleeping on the floor never hurt anyone, even if it is cold as all hell in this damn country. Seriously, it's the middle of summer and it's _cold_. How the Americans, let alone the poor Canadian bastards to the north, dealt with this shit on a yearly basis... god _damn_.

But hell, he was already here and it was nigh time to go the fuck to sleep, despite Aster's internal clock demanding it was time to go out and have fun. No, brain, it's almost midnight, is time for _sleeping_.

Jet lag fucking sucks.

(THIS IS A LINE, ISN'T IT BEAUTIFUL?)

When Aster wakes up the next morning he's met with the delightful first image of a weird looking stain on his roof from _god knows what_, that looks somewhat sentient. _Wonderful_.

Grumbling to himself the Aussie stands and stretches from his place near the couch, groaning as his back creaks and pops from the awkward position he'd been sleeping in. Goddamn, he's going to have to set up his bed, and quickly, if he wants to still have use of his legs in a week.

A slight giggle stops his thought process, however, as Aster's eyes flick towards the window. Directly outside his window, a meter away in the building next to his, leans a boy outside of a window Aster can only assume leads to the kid's house.

"Oh, don't stop on my account," The kid laughs, blatantly checking Aster out with ice blue eyes. The kid leans his white haired head on a hand, looking wistfully at him. "I've been wondering who'd be my new neighbor. Looks like I lucked out!"

Aster merely grumbles, pushing the T-shirt that had been riding up on his (admittedly impressive) abs back down. The kid makes something of a sad noise, but laughs all the same at the look he gets from the Aussie.

"I'm Jack," The kid continues. "Jack Frost."

Aster rolls his eyes and begins to dig through a nearby box to look busy. "Aster," He finally bites out, "E. Aster Bunnymund."

"Bunnymund?" The kid repeats with a shit eating grin. "Never would have taken you for a rodent type of guy." And oh the _snickering _that follows, not to mention the shit eating grin.

The kid may have been cute but hell if Aster's going to take that kind of shit-

_Woah_ Aster did not just call Jack cute. _Nope, nope, nope, _we are_ not _going in that direction _nope_. Aster may have been straight as a circle, and from the looks of it so was Jack, but Aster is _not_ going down that path anytime in the near future.

"Australian?" Jack asks. Aster's confused as to what that means, but Jack just rolls his eyes and reiterates. "Your accent, Australian right?"

Bunny nods. "Right I am. Just moved here yesterday."

Jack nods along, smiling the whole time. Aster decides that even if he's a sarcastic little shit, Jack isn't the worst company _for now_, at least until Aster can get some friendships started in the city.

"Well if you need help with anything," Jack smiles, "I'm just a holler away."

It's only after Jack's gone and left his apartment to take his little sister to school that Aster notices the sticky note with Jack's cell number haphazardly stuck to Aster's outside window frame.

(THIS IS A LINE, ISN'T IT BEAUTIFUL?)

Aster spends his day indoors, listening to the radio and unpacking all his shit. Apparently there was some type of mad cow disease running around, and it wouldn't do to get sick on his first day in country, now would it?

Eventually the apartment takes on a bit more of a homey feel, that is to say some of Aster's stuff gets put on the shelf and art supplies slowly begin their invasion of the kitchen table.

Yep, it's just like being at home.

Aster ignores the first ring of sirens through the streets, assuming this was a pretty normal thing. Something was always going wrong, after all. But the sirens grow and grow, getting louder and more audible. It's at this point that Aster looks out the window and sees the chaos running rampant in the streets.

From the alley his building and Jack's create, Aster's view is rather stunted, but it's easy enough to see the people running and screaming through the streets, abandoning cars and bikes and running down the street away from Aster's building.

...

_Well then_.

Aster watches for a bit longer, occasionally seeing a person or two falling in the anarchy, before calmly walking across his apartment and locking the door.

Across the alley in Jack's building, Aster can see Jack's front door slam open and Jack run through, pulling a crying little girl behind him and slamming the front door closed with a terrified expression. Aster leans out the window, looking towards his new neighbors with confusion.

"Well what's got your panties in a twist, frostbite?" He asks casually, trying to ignore how Jack's hands shake as he scurries around the front room of his apartment.

"Dude, have you seen the news?" The kid asks in confusion. "This shit's all over the place! The government's ordering mass evacuation of the city. Grab what you can carry and head out." Jack turns to his sister with a stern look, and bends down to her level.

"Emma," He says softly, rubbing at her cheeks to banish tears, "I'm going to need you to empty out your bag, we're going on a trip, okay? Just pack as many clothes as you can, okay? I have to talk to Mr. Bunnymund, alright?"

The little girl, Emma, nods tearfully and heads out of sight. Jack turns back to Aster.

"You should do the same. The entire city's in a panic. Ems and I are headed to our grandfather's house in Burgess, a half week's drive up north. You're welcome to join us, if you want. I know you just got here and all." The last part is said shyly, as if Jack's asking him out on a _date_ or something.

Aster nods numbly, already trying to sort out this confusion.

Mass panic on the streets.

City is being evacuated.

All of which are for reasons unknown.

"Right," Aster finally says, blocking out the screaming and sirens from below. "Just lemme grab a few things and I'll come to you, okay?"

Jack nods, but still looks rather shaken.

"Oh, and by the way," The white hair kid adds, as if it were an afterthought, "If you've got any weapons or blunt objects, you might want to bring them along, just in case. When I say shit's crazy, I mean it's _really _crazy"

Jack disappears into his apartment without looking back leaving a shell shocked Aster behind.

(THIS IS A LINE, ISN'T IT BEAUTIFUL?)

It takes them half an hour for everything to be ready. By this time the streets have quieted considerably, making it somewhat safe to venture out. Jack's outlining the plan (_My car's just around the corner, if we can get there then we should be good_) when a crash large enough that Aster can hear it rings through Jack's apartment from behind the locked front door.

Jack shudders, blindly grabbing Emma's hand and dragging her away from the door. The crash turns into a thumping, then another crash. It's then that Aster realises.

The crashing is something trying to _break down the door_.

Jack pushes ten year old Emma behind him and holds the bat he had found up high. Emma herself shudders and begins to cry again, her brown eyes slamming closed in fear.

"Are they gunna eat us like they ate Mrs. Peterson?" She asks fearfully, clinging to Jack's blue hoodie.

"Not if I've got anything to say about it." Jack murmurs back as the door begins to split under the rhythmic _slamming_ of whatever was behind it.

Aster himself retreats back into his own apartment in search of something useful other than his cricket bat he kept more for nostalgia than actual love of the sport.

He can still hear the slamming as he gets an idea.

With a mighty swing he brings the bookshelf down, quickly splitting it into shitty IKEA parts once again. He just manages to separate the lateral standing part of the shelf from the wreckage when the splintering crack of broken door rings across the alley, accompanied by Emma screaming her heart out.

Aster rushes towards the window, chunk of shelf in one hand cricket bat in the other, and sends it through his window and into Jack's, creating the worst mock bridge in the history of ever that wouldn't hold the Aussie's weight, but _whatever Aster's got other things on his mind right now. _

Jack curses as he's backed into the walls by...

Oh.

Oh _god_.

A wave of... not people, per se, but people like creatures pour into the room. Aster gets a glimpse of half torn off faces, green-grey skin, and missing limbs before his mind shuts down and puts up it's mental blinders.

"_Jack_!" He calls, directing attention towards his crap-tastic bridge. Jack slams his bat into the head of one of the creature's (because they are _not _zombies, because _zombies don't exist_) head when it got too close, causing it to fall to the ground and shudder before going limp. The others in the room, at least twelve in all, begin to rush towards the two kids, and Jack begins to push Emma towards the bridge with fear fueled panic.

"_Go_!" He shouts, whipping his bat around to beat away the approaching hoard, doing his best to keep them away from Emma.

He untimely fails.

Because Aster can only watch in sheer terror as a bloodied hand reaches past Jack, who's preoccupied with beating away a particularly tenacious monster currently going for his _neck_, and grabs Emma by her Hello Kitty (TM) backpack.

And then it _yanks_.

Emma, for all her cuteness, isn't very strong, and thus is forcibly pulled backwards past her brother, who screams in terror as he sees his sister pass him by. Emma wails in fear, scrambling at the arm holding her. Jack himself tries to slam the bat into the head of the zombie dragging his sister away, but fails as more fall upon him and force him back.

The horde becomes so thick that they can't even see what exactly happens when Emma's screaming cuts off suddenly, ending in a choked gurgle.

Jack screams.

The white haired boy lunges forwards towards where his sister had disappeared, screaming a mixture of curses, gibberish, and Emma's name.

Aster can do nothing but react, deciding to forgo safety and try using his bridge anyways. With a the hand not holding his cricket bat he stables himself, allowing himself to inch forwards only to flimsy plywood keeping him six stories up above harsh, unforgiving concrete.

He slowly makes his way forwards, eventually making it somewhat close to the other side, and managing to grab Jack's backpack in a horrific parody of what had happened to the younger Frost, dragging the blue eyed boy backwards and out the window.

Jack shrieks to be let go, tears blurring ice blue eyes, fighting Aster as the man drags him back and into Aster's apartment.

"_I can't leave Emma_!" Jack shrieks as Aster kicks away at the board, sending to it's concrete death below before any of the monsters can follow them. "_I can't, I can't, I can't_!"

Aster simply nods, pulling Jack close and holding him tightly. Jack cries and fights, slamming small pale fists into Aster's chest. Aster simply holds him, pinning him down and keeping him still until the panic in his ocean eyes finally leaves.

Once Jack finally calms down slightly, Aster releases him, only just catching Jack before he hits the ground in defeat, shaking in terror.

"They took her." Jack says simply. "They _took _her, and she... she. Oh my god. Oh my _god_ what the _fuck _oh my-" The deranged rambling is cut off by a few dry retches, but apparently Jack hasn't eaten anything lately because nothing comes up. Aster simply rubs his back, a quiet presence to the left that kept Jack grounded.

Because his sister was _dead_. She was dead and was never coming back and oh my GOD-

More dry retching.

Eventually Aster stands and pulls Jack's lax body up with him. "We need ta move." The Aussie states calmly. "The city ain't safe anymore."

Jack nods, shaking but standing.

"Yeah." He says softly, "Yeah. We. Uh. We'll go north. To granddads. Yeah. Okay."

Aster hefts his cricket bat higher on his shoulder, never one for touchy feely moments. But he has to ask.

"Are ya going to be okay?" He asks softly, looking towards the mold spot on the ceiling.

"No." Jack answers truthfully. "But I'm going to have to ignore that until we're safe."

Aster nods, that's good enough for him. The Aussie runs a hand through his greyish hair and slaps Jack on the shoulder.

"Let's get moving then."

They go up, instead of down, taking the fire escapes up to the roof of Aster's building. It seemed like a better plan than trying to maneuver the hallways of Aster's building and then the _streets_ would be a pain in the ass as well. If there were more of those... _things_ running around outside or in the building it wouldn't do to go off and find them.

Jack and Aster keep silent as they move, doing their best to draw minimal attention to themselves. They hop from building to building through use of an impromptu ladder-turned-bridge, almost exactly as an ice climber would use a ladder while passing over a gorge.

Eventually they make it to Jack's car, or at least to the roof of the Laundromat Jack had parked his car in front of. Jack's quite obviously gone into shock, but he's still operating at a capacity that Aster is okay with trusting him as they try to plot out their next course of action. The ladder was too short to get down to street level, and the roof they were on had no foreseeable exit.

That is, until, Jack spots a dumpster below that the ladder _is _long enough to reach. Once making sure the coast was clear, they send the ladder down, sending Jack first.

They actually make it to the car with no major problems.

It's a piece of shit, to put it nicely, all dents and duct tape repairs and fading blue paint, but it's enough of a truck to get them out of the city, and that makes it _perfect _in every way, shape, and form. Jack starts the engine by turning the key slightly to the left and kicking a place above the gas pedal, much to Aster's amusement.

But they do end up driving through the abandoned streets, doing their best to ignore the fires and sirens in the distance, not to mention the occasional body that had been _torn to shreds _and left lying on the ground without a care.

The streets reek of ash and blood, and the scent even penetrates the cabin of the truck.

A silence falls over them both, Jack and Aster, as they both slip off into their own tangents. This whole thing is so surreal, Aster thinks, watching the city eventually thin out. Jack takes the back roads out as opposed to the highway, knowing that the highway is going to be clogged to shit and they'd probably end up trapped there to wait in highway purgatory until the end of time.

Aster eventually gets sick of the quiet, and tries to flick on the radio, turning through channels in a vain hope to hear something positive.

It's nothing good.

Across the entire board, all eight stations Jack's got programmed into the static-y radio, they all play the same message.

_This is an emergency message. The government of the United States of America has declared a national emergency. Do not attempt to leave your homes. Do not attempt to contact loved ones. Lock all doors and windows. Do not make any contact with the assailants. If you or someone you know is bitten then it is imperitive to put said person under quarantine. Emergency services will be at your location within a few hours. _

_This is an emergency mess-_

"Not much really on, is there?" Jack says softly, flicking the radio off with a little more force than necessary.

(THIS IS A LINE, ISN'T IT BEAUTIFUL?)

For a while, they can pretend that they're just on a road trip. Without Jack's sister. A never ending road trip with no foreseeable finish and the intense need to watch your own back at all times.

The truck breaks down after almost a half a day of straight driving.

"Piece of shit," Jack mutters, hefting his bag onto his shoulder and kicking a tire in frustration. "Ah, no matter though, there's a town a little ways up. No more than an hour walk. Easy."

Jack's humour is forced and reeking of bottled up emotions, but they've got more important things to focus on. According to Jack there's still a good week's straight walk if they want to get to Jack's grandfather's house. For some reason that's the main goal, even if Aster's pretty sure some elderly old guy doesn't exactly have good chances of survival during all the crazyass shit going down around here lately.

They walk towards the town, spending the hour trading stories.

Aster's just moved from Australia to live in New York for a job as a mural painter for a large art gallery. He'd left behind no family, due to their untimely passing a few years ago in a gas fire during a family reunion. He'd grown up in the outback with no real parental influence, only really returning to civilization for food and the occasional nap.

Jack's a little different.

Jack Frost and his little sister Emma had been removed from their home by child services due to an alcoholic father and drug addicted mother. Jack had spent years saving up for the very apartment that had made him Aster's neighbor for the few hours they were. Jack had taken charge of Emma the day he turned eighteen, and had been working two jobs to keep them afloat. According to Jack it was "A shit life, but it's mine, and it wasn't that bad. I have... _had_ Em with me, and that was all that mattered."

Jack, on the day of the initial attack, had only managed to gather his sister from the panicking crowds surrounding the school building, groups of terrified parents and siblings trying to find their children. Supposedly a zombie had gotten into a classroom, _Emma's_ fourth grade classroom, and had bitten the teacher within. Mrs. Peterson, Jack supplies. The white haired boy had only managed to pry Emma away from the crowds before running for home like the hounds of hell was on his heels.

Things go quiet again as the town looms over in the distance. Bats at the ready, they sneak through abandoned backyards and backstreets, trying to avoid anything that looked populated by living or dead.

They do come across the Main Street, and manage to find a safe vantage point on top of an old DVD store as an added bonus. Once relatively out of the way, they plot their course of action.

They'd stick together, first of all. It wouldn't do to split up on unfamiliar turf with no real fighting ability between the two of them. They'd hit the supermarket and the camping supplies store, then the pharmacy.

Aster knew enough about camping to know what they'd need, and Jack knew the way to not need anything for directions.

Plan set, they descend on the town, ignoring the few bloodstains here and there. The smell of blood is still present, but nowhere near as bad as it had been in the city, most likely due to the smaller population of the surrounding area.

The supermarket was mostly cleared out, not to mention completely abandoned, though they did manage to score enough canned food to make the trip easy. Jack demands they get a box of Twinkies, and somehow gets Aster to agree, though how neither of them know.

The camping store was much better, though not without it's own issues in the form of two zombies hobbling around, one of them lurching around on a broken ankle and the other missing half it's neck.

Jack can't even face the nameless dead without shuddering. Aster kills both zombies for him.

They get a tent, larger rucksacks, first aid kits, knives, flint and steel, and many other things Aster says they'll need. Jack trusts the Aussie enough to trust that he knows what he's talking about.

They also gain a crossbow and sixty bolts, which has them pleasantly surprised as they pry it from the dead hands of the store owner who was currently rotting on the ground with no head.

The pharmacy, it seems, is a bad idea. It's obviously cleared out right down to the _feminine products_, and there's really no point wasting daylight on it.

Town thoroughly ransacked (though Jack does toss all his available cash onto the front desks of every store they plunder), Jack and Aster slowly walk out of the town, trying to ignore the silence they leave behind.

(THIS IS A LINE, ISN'T IT BEAUTIFUL?)

Their first night without the safety of the truck is daunting. They take shifts, Jack watching until midnight and Aster watching from that point until sunrise. Aster can't help but watch Jack's face as he sleeps, the guy was just so calm and peaceful in blissful unconsciousness that it helped to sooth Aster's raging nerves. A small fire burns, not large enough to give away location but enough to produce heat, and it sends out a soft glow across Jack's lax face.

And Aster can't help but smile.

They leave at daybreak, pushing forwards along the country roads Jack seems to know offhand and avoiding as many cities and towns as possible. When asked, Jack states that he knows them so well because of multiple trips to grandfather North's house for Emma, who needed to have family other than Jack.

They carry on.

Jack starts to carry around a stick with a curve on the end of it, more for fun than an actual walking stick. What he doesn't tell Aster is that Emma and he used to collect weird looking sticks and stones for fun, and that she would have loved it.

The two of them only encounter a few zombies, and Jack even gets in on killing one or two even if he still looks green at the sight of them. They've yet to meet anyone else, which is both surprising and terrifying at the same time.

When they _do_ meet someone, they rather wish they hadn't.

Jack Frost and E. Aster Bunnymund meet Pitch Black and his gang on the morning of the second day.

It's not exactly pleasant.

Aster sets his backpack down with a _thunk_ onto the forest floor before stretching and popping his poor aching back. Jack does the same with a groan of pleasure, running a hand through his hair to dispel the sweat no doubt trapped there.

"I'm going to go scout around," Aster says, "Can ya start us up some grub, frostbite?"

Jack nods, already getting the flint from his bag. "Sure thing, Bunny." He grins, using the _obnoxious _nickname he'd pinned Aster with.

Aster just rolls his eyes and heads off into the woods, ready to clear out the area of any straggling zombies. The Aussie wanders in what he hopes is a rough circle around camp, spending a good half hour just enjoying the sounds and smells of nature around him. The crowing of birds above, the smell of grass, this was Aster's feeling of home.

He really doesn't want to head back, but Jack'd be finished breakfast by now, as if it was that hard to cook canned food over a fire.

However, when Aster returns to camp he's met with the exact opposite of what he's expecting.

That is to say, he's met with absolutely nothing at all.

The camp, or lack thereof, is bare. No tent, no fire, no _Jack_. This is what sets Aster on edge the most. If it was a zombie attack, from what Aster had been able to gather from ransacked camps Jack and he had past while walking, zombies didn't take supplies with them. They didn't steal food, or pick up tents, just attacked and _ate_ and moved on their way.

It was horrifying, but it was a pattern.

A pattern that this event certainly broke.

Therefore, it wasn't zombies that had caused Jack to vanish in a puff of smoke.

Therefore it was something else. Something probably _human_.

"Oh,_fuck_." Is all Aster's able to choke out before seven hooded figures jump out from behind various trees and surround him. Each person is toting a shotgun of some type, from standard Winchesters to ones that are so fancy Aster doesn't even know their names, let alone their makes.

"Put the crossbow down." The closest one says through a black bandanna, a woman, nudging his solar plexus with the tip of her gun. Aster, for lack of a better idea, puts the crossbow down and puts his hands up in the universal sign for _I surrender please don't shoot me_.

"You're going to come with us, yeah?" The woman continues. "We're going on a little trip."

Aster just nods along because a second shotgun has taken residence in the center of his shoulder blades, and follows the woman when she begins to move south. The group of seven-plus-Aster moves through the thick brush of the woods, going deeper into the woods than the footpaths Jack had been leading them through.

It's quiet except for the crunching of leaves and twigs beneath their feet. They all walk for at least five minutes, though Aster's never really had a good sense of time, until they reach another clearing, this one much larger than the one he and Jack had planned to set up camp with at least twenty tents set up in a large circle around what looks to be a metal flagpole, sticking up from the ground and rusted with obvious age.

However, when Aster gets a good look around, his eyes fall on a head of tussled white hair near the base of the pole.

Jack.

The kid's sitting pretty casually near the pole, though one arm seems to be held at an awkward angle, seemingly ignoring his brand spanking new black eye and probably broken nose.

The woman and her thugs drag Aster forwards towards the pole before shoving him down next to Jack. The kid looks even worse up close, his face bloody and his nose at an angle, obviously broken. Jack smiles sadly at Aster and holds up the arm he'd been holding strange, revealing the handcuff keeping him attached to the pole.

"Sup, Rambo?" Jack asks casually. "Bout time you showed up, I was worried you were actually smart enough to not get caught the same way I did."

Aster merely grumbles as his left hand is also cuffed to the pole, firmly keeping him in place as the hooded group disperses into their camp.

"Who did ya piss off?" Bunny asks slowly, taking stock of Jack's injuries. They'd need to get that nose set before it began to set that way and they'd have to break it again.

"What?" Jack laughs, looking casually around camp.

"Yer face, frostbite. Looks like you got hit by a truck."

"Oh," Jack laughs, "Some black haired dude. The leader, I think, but I was kinda too busy shittin' it up to really care. Dude wasn't exactly happy when I refused to say where you'd gone off to."

Aster chuckles at that before reaching into his pocket and handing him one of those froofy Kleenex-on-the-go packs he'd taken to carrying with him due to one too many past art related disasters.

"Best get that shit offa yer face." He says gruffly. Jack accepts the pack thankfully, dragging a few across his face to get the worst of the blood off. His nose is still at an angle and his eye looks more purple than anything else, but it's a severe improvement to the kicked-to-shit look Jack'd been sporting before.

"Now isn't that sweet?" A third voice says to their right, snapping both of them from their musings. The voice is slightly British and downright _slimy_ in tone, and both Aster and Jack's heads snap towards the man in front of them.

The guy is thin and tall, dressed completely in black. His face is gaunt, thin, with a hooked nose and cheekbones that you could cut yourself on. The man's eyes blaze _gold_ of all things, two twin stars in a sea of pale skin and black hair.

Overall, he gives off the impression of being a total sleazebag, just by standing there.

"And who might ya be?" Aster asks casually, leaning against the pole as if it's his god given right to be there.

"Pitch Black." The man says haughtily. Jack rolls his eyes behind Aster in exasperation, almost causing the Aussie to laugh.

"And, mister Pitch Black, might I ask why exactly we've been dragged into this shithole?"

Jack snorts out a laugh, shoving a hand to his face as if to force the laugh back down. Pitch's face goes _dark_ at this, but the tall man still leans down to their sitting level nonetheless.

"Because." He says with a smirk. "We have a way with dealing with... those who have decided to not stay buried, and it includes live bait. Meaning you, Crocodile Dundee."

Aster gives him a condescending look at the nickname, but a thought stops him, though Jack gets there first.

"What about me, then?" Jack asks nonchalantly, though Aster can feel the tension in Jack's hands, see the muscles in his back grow more and more ridged. Though Aster's not staring at Jack's back, not at all.

Pitch merely laughs at Jack's question and moves to crouch in front of the teen and forcibly grabbing Jack's chin. "Why I think I'll keep you," The dark man says spitefully. "I like someone with a little _bite_, you know?"

Jack shudders at this, still glaring at Pitch all the same. He manages to slap Pitch's hand away, and for some reason Black laughs at that, before sauntering away.

However, before he can completely turn tail, Jack's foot shoots out and tangles itself in Pitch's legs, causing the man to trip and face plant into the dirt. When Pitch looks behind him with a glare, Jack just puts on an innocent look and shrugs, even while Aster loses shit laughing next to him. Pitch looks like a frazzled cat as he gets up, which is hilarious, but as he retreats the humor fades into the background of the imminent danger looming over them.

Jack's hands are shaking. Aster stills them with one of his own.

"We're gunna be fine." Bunny says with conviction. "We're gunna get out of here. I'm not gunna die, and you're not gunna have to... we're gunna be fine." He can't even say it. Aster feels like he's in less danger than Jack at this point, because Aster gets the easy way out.

Jack doesn't look convinced, but it's the best Aster can do. Bunny's not really one for warm and fuzzy, but he thinks he can make an exception for the boy with baby blue eyes that are looking mighty scared right now no matter how brave the kid tries to look. So with that thought in mind, he almost casually tosses his arm around Jack's shoulders and draws him close, happy to just keep him there and sheltered for a bit.

It's rather sad that this is their first human contact in days (unless you count the flesh eating monsters which Aster certainly _doesn't_).

Jack shifts a little uncomfortably for a bit before settling in with a sigh, his back against Aster's chest and his outer thigh brushing up against Aster's. They sit there in silence for a good three hours, occasionally trading escape plans that just get more and more ludicrous as time goes one.

"Okay," Jack's saying as they enter hour four. "See, what we'll do is you'll break your handcuffs with the power of your ridiculous fucking abs, then I'll slip out of mine from being so goddamn skinny, then we'll jack a car and cruise off into the sunset, yeah?"

"Sounds great frostbite," Aster laughs, "Only problem is that exposure to my abs may blind you." Oh yeah, he can play that game too.

"Pfft whatever." Jack playfully shoves at him. "I bet you money you've never once blinded a girl with your abs."

"Not a girl, no." Aster relents. "Plenty of boys though."

Jack suddenly stills at that, before twisting rather awkwardly to look him in the eye.

"Hot and gay." He finally says with a laugh, "It _is_ my lucky day isn't it?"

The both descend into giggles at that, I mean _manly chuckles yes_, and maybe it's not even from the hilarity of the joke but maybe just the fact that they're fucking chained to a goddamn pole and are potentially going to die and this _shit was getting so ridiculous it was hard not to laugh_.

Of course, this is when Pitch decides to bug them again; only this time he totes what looks like a AK-47, though Aster's no gun expert for sure. Jack and Aster quickly split apart, not exactly embarrassed to be caught in what looks like such an intimate position, but they'd rather Pitch not exactly be there to pay witness like the bloody creepy he is.

"So sorry to break up such a touching moment," Pitch says sounding absolutely not sorry at all, "But I'm afraid that captain outback is going to have to come with us."

Aster glares, even as Pitch jabs the key into the cuff keeping him attached to the pole and leads him towards a truck. Jack watches him go with a resigned look.

(THIS IS A LINE ISN'T IT BEAUTIFUL?)

Aster's tossed into the bed of the truck, and has half a mind to just jump out and start running, though he's pretty sure jumping out of a vehicle going at least sixty down the highway with his hands cuffed to each other behind his back is a good way to get his legs broken. So he sits and he waits as the trees slowly turn to the suburbs of a small town. Aster can't help but think of Pitch's threat.

Live bait, the dark man had said. They needed live bait, meaning Aster. Meaning they were probably going to chain him to something and wait for the zombies to show up. What they'd do after that was a mystery, but Aster'd bet it'd have something to do with the ridiculous amount of guns the group was toting around all willy nilly.

Eventually they stop in a town center of sorts, a round, cobblestoned area with multiple large buildings surrounding it. A fountain looks like it used to happily bubble in the center, though the power and water had long since shut off. Many of the windows of the buildings are smashed out, and there are multiple bodies piled in neat rows in the darkened allies just out of sight. Aster can't help but be a little nervous as Pitch's cronies spread out into the buildings, going up fire escapes and ladders to the roofs of at least ten of the buildings.

Pitch shoves Aster forwards with the barrel of his gun, forcing the Aussie towards the fountain, only to cuff him to the decorative fence surrounding it. Aster gives a few half hearted tugs, feeling the unyielding fence refuse to even budge.

Pitch merely smiles at his vain attempts and pats him on the head. Aster lets out something akin to a snarl at that, which doesn't stagger the man in the slightest.

"Any last words?" He asks lightly, pulling out an air horn and a roll of duct tape.

"Yeah." Aster snarks, "Let me and Jack go, and I'll only break one of your arms when I get a hold of ya."

Pitch smirks at that. "Ah, sorry. Can't do that." He taps his chin, as if inspecting Aster. "But don't worry, I'll take wonderful care of your Jack, once he sees reason, of course."

"Reason?" Aster asks, trying to stall for time at this point, but whatever.

"That he should really see me as the better suitor." Pitch says, leaning close. "As opposed to some dirt mongering Aussie. Like. _You_."

Aster struggles even harder against the cuffs at this, ready to tear this bastard _apart._ Pitch simply steps back and out of his reach, smiling as a small walkie talkie buzzes on his hip.

"_We're all set up here_." The voice of the woman who'd captured Aster buzzes from the machine, "_Waiting for you to start the slaughter, sir_."

"Wonderful, Onyx." Pitch responds. "Starting the noise now."

With that, Pitch makes a flourish of unrolling a forearms length of duct tape and taping it to the side of the air horn, before wrapping it over the top and pulling it tight enough to make it ring continuously. Aster shies away from the noise as Pitch finishes taping and drops the horn, letting the loud noise ring through the abandoned town.

"I'll send Jack your best." Pitch says as he jogs away towards one of the larger buildings, "Who knows, maybe he'll take my shoulder to cry on."

The air horn rings loud in Aster's ears as he yanks fruitlessly on the cuffs. He's honestly panicking on the inside, ready to just break down into a gibbering mess, but he _won't_ give Pitch the pleasure. If he's going to die, he's going to die like a goddamn man. And thus, he does his best to keep his composure.

Even as he sees the first lumbering, bloodied zombie stagger out of the alley and start towards him with arms raised and eyes hungry.

(THIS IS A LINE, ISN'T IT BEAUTIFUL?)

Aster had been gone for a full twenty minutes before Jack finally started to get a plan going.

Most of Pitch's gang had left with the troop that had taken Aster, Jack muses. He tests the cuff again, still finding it tight, though not enough to cut off circulation. Most of the camp is abandoned, though four or five people are still left over.

This. This was not good. Aster was gods know where, supposedly live zombie bait, and Jack himself was in the awkward position of potential trophy wife of the asshole who'd brought them here.

Yeah. Not good.

But as Jack continues to think, he remembers something his grandfather North had taught him.

"_Jack_," the man had said in his Russian way, "_If you are even in cuffs, many times you should be able to slip them by-_"

"Dislocating the wrist." Jack finishes his own thought in a whisper, looking down at his left wrist is a mix of horror and resignation.

"Fuck, this is going to hurt, isn't it?" He says to himself. But he has to do it, because he's pretty damn sure Aster's not going to be able to escape and save Jack's pasty ass on his own. But it's still a scary thought, deliberately causing himself pain for the sake of freedom. Not to mention the fact that he'd have to get out of the camp itself, probably by jacking a car and riding out to the nearby town, which was probably where they'd taken Aster to.

"Goddamn Bunny owes me big time." Jack hisses, grabbing a nearby stick from the clearing floor. He quickly strips it of the bark mainly for sanitation but also for stalling, before sticking it in between his teeth because _he is not losing a tongue today too thank you very much_.

And with that, he twists himself around, plants his feet against the pole, and uses his feet to shove himself forwards.

And he hears a sickening _pop_ and feels his wrist _explode_ into pain and agony and the stick in his mouth almost snaps under the pressure of his teeth biting into it in order to keep his agonized scream from sounding across the clearing.

Jack shudders from the pain, his good hand shaking as he manages to twist his limp hand from the cuff before the swelling can render the whole thing useless. He takes deep, gasping breaths as he tries to ignore the fire burning up his arm as he staggers to his feet and spit out the fragments of stick from his mouth.

Right. Okay. Now time for phase two. Jack hurriedly rushes for the cover of the tents, doing his best to move quietly through the camp to avoid drawing suspicion for as long as possible. Thankfully, he manages to find one of Pitch's grunts asleep on a camp chair with his car keys simply hanging from a karabiner attached to one of his belt loops. Lucky day, lucky day. Jack can't help but snicker to himself as he carefully nabs the guys keys without waking him up.

"Sucker," He whispers quietly, making sure to be far enough away when he did so, happily holding the keys in his non-crappy hand which had slowly dulled to a steady painful throb in time to his heartbeat, not to mention having almost doubled in size due to swelling.

But he can worry about that later.

Because he also lucks out in that he finds their storage tent, which is like Christmas come early times ten, and Jack can barely contain himself from laughing as he gathers enough food to feed Bunny and him for a month, not to mention a shittonne of painkillers (god knowing Jack was going to need them), and, with careful deliberation, a set of bolt cutters.

For all he knew Aster was still chained up somewhere, and bolt cutters would come in crazy handy for a drive by rescue.

He loads all of this in a rucksack that's oh so conveniently left by the door, as well as reclaiming Aster's crossbow and ammo as a final _fuck you_ to Pitch Black and all he stands for. Serves the bastard right.

Just as Jack's making towards the cars, a sudden shout from the flagpole sends the entire camp into chaos. Oh, looks like they'd found out he was missing. Well, that sucked, but he actually got pretty far just by being sneaky, in Jack's humble opinion.

The teenager makes a mad dash for the cars, using the wireless lock button to single out whatever car he'd be stuck with.

Apparently he gets a pretty recent Ford F1 50, black, but absolutely perfect for a getaway.

Jack bolts for the doors, tosses his bag and crossbow inside just as he's been spotted.

And then nearly shrieks in terror as a gunshot rings behind him and takes out the driver side mirror. He freezes for a few seconds before launching into overdrive, shoving himself into the truck with newfound fever and starting that shit up like his life depends on it.

Another bullet goes through the windshield, leaving a quarter sized hole in the glass and shattering most of the glass around it. Another takes out his rear-view mirror. Jack throws the truck into drive, keeping his head as far down in his seat as he can, and slams on the gas, jolting the vehicle forwards. Jack's truck speeds out of the camp, getting another bullet through the back window for it's efforts, and it's only when they stop shooting that Jack risks a look back.

Four men, including the guy who's truck he'd just stolen, look down the dirt road at his truck, shouting that he was a dead man and all other delightful things, all while waving their guns in the air like the bunch of stupid hicks Jack's pretty sure they are.

The white haired teen drives around until he finds the highway, and follows it until he finds the closest town. Pitch had said he needed Aster to be live bait, and if one needs bait, then they've got prey. The only prey that they would need human bait for would be... zombies. God what a ridiculous word, Jesus, but there's nothing better to describe them.

Jack takes deep stuttering breaths to calm himself as he drives into the town, doing his best to ignore the steady pain coming from his still dislocated wrist. He takes the time to one handily open the painkillers and dry swallow three of them. His nose fucking hurts, his eye fucking hurts, and his wrist _really fucking hurts_. He'd fucking earned some quiet time and some Tylenol, hot damn.

However, it's during this quiet time he hears something utterly ridiculous coming from what must be the center of town.

"An air horn? The fuck...?" Jack murmurs, driving the truck towards it. It could be a random alarm going off in one of the stores, or it could be Pitch and Aster.

Jack's hoping on the latter.

(THIS IS A LINE, ISN'T IT BEAUTIFUL?)

Aster shudders as yet another zombie goes down, a clean shot through the head causing it to twitch and flutter for a while before finally dropping dead. There're at least twenty corpses littering the streets, though thankfully none of the zombies had gotten close enough to Aster to force the Aussie to fight back.

The air horn is starting to lose steam, after a full half hour of leaving Aster deaf as an old person. The people on the roofs had spent the entire time picking off any zombies that got out in the open in an attempt to eat Aster. Though it was totally barbaric and horrible, Bunny had to give props where it was due in that this set up was rather ingenious if not batshit insane.

However, it's only once the air horn gives out that Aster can hear the steady purr of a truck's engine getting steadily closer. Pitch must have heard it too, as Aster can see him from the roof Pitch's camping out on, and watches as Pitch pulls out a pair of binoculars, scanning the streets.

Aster can also see as Pitch puts down the binoculars in shock and begins to bark orders into the talkie, sending all his toy soldiers scattering and scurrying down their ladders and fire escapes and back into their trucks.

Aster watches with wonder as another black truck pops into view, this one much more haphazardly driven than the others had been, though Aster would know that shitty driving anywhere.

Jack.

Pitch is getting down the ladder of his building, looking ready for murder, when Jack's truck pulls up in between Aster and Pitch, hopping out of the driver's door with a pair of bolt cutters.

"Where in the hell did you get those?" Aster asks, honestly curious, as Jack offers one side of the bolt cutters to him. Together they manage to cut through the cuffs, and Jack offers an "_I'll tell you later_." As he scurries back into the truck, this time taking the passenger side.

They can hear Pitch cursing from the other side of the truck, and as Aster jumps in and throws it in drive he can see Pitch running for the vehicle. Bunny only vaguely registers the multiple bullet holes in the glasswork as he slams on the gas, tossing the truck forwards and jostling them both forwards because _fuck seat belts_.

However, they can hear a muffled thump coming from the bed of the truck behind them. Jack flips around in his seat as Aster focuses on not running anything over and doing his best not to crash.

"Oh that crazy _fucker_!" Jack shrieks in anger, quickly abandoning all pretenses of motor safety and crawling into the backseat. Aster spares his eyes a moment from the road and looks into the rear view mirror, only to lock eyes with a rather familiar set of golden pools.

Pitch snarls from his crouching position in the truck bed, slowly but surely trying to drive his foot through the already shattered back window.

"Oh son of a _bitch_," Aster hisses, swerving to the left to avoid a crashed car in the street ahead of them. Pitch gets tossed to the side but holds his ground, even as Jack attempts to shout at him to _fuck off you crazy sack of shit_ and other such savory things.

It's chaotic, to say the least, as Aster weaves the truck around obstacles left in the initial scramble for survival of the human race, especially as he hears the glass shatter behind him and Jack's shrieking is _really not helping at all. _Aster does his best to keep the truck stable, even as Jack grabs the bolt cutters from the front seat and crawls out the hole in the window and into the bed of the truck with Pitch.

Eventually Jack manages to tell Pitch to fuck off using the time old tradition of slamming the dude in the face with a blunt object.

Pitch's limp form goes sprawling out of the truck and onto the pavement below, obviously knocked unconscious. Jack throws the bolt cutters down into the bed and crawls back into the cabin, thunking down besides the stunned Aussie.

"Remind me to never piss you off again." Aster says in admiration, casually reaching over and wiping a speck of blood from Jack's porcelain skin. Jack merely smirks and holds one of his wrists close to his chest. Now that the chaos was over and done with, Aster had noticed that Jack had been favoring one arm over the other for the entire time after their glorious reunion.

"Did you hurt yerself?" Bunny asks, slowing the truck down to a reasonable speed as they exit the town.

Jack nods, holding up his wrist. It looks pretty badly sprained, probably even dislocated if the insane amount of swelling was anything to go off of. "I had to dislocate it to slip the cuffs." Jack shrugs. "I took some really good painkillers before I came to save your ass, so it's not actually that bad."

Aster scoffs and allows Jack to drop his wrist. "We're gunna have to patch you up once we're free and clear." The Aussie states, allowing for no opposition. "Shit's gunna get infected."

Jack just nods, sighing softly and sinking into the plush cushions. "I'm... I'm gunna take a nap, okay? These pills are _really_ good man. Like, _really, really good_. Just keep going on this highway for another four, five hours tops, then wake me up, kay?"

Bunny groans, but can't help but laugh as Jack passes out next to him, high as a kite and dead to the world. He drives onwards with the dulcet tones of Jack's light breathing as his soundtrack.

They carry on.

(THIS IS A LINE, ISN'T IT BEAUTIFUL?)

Three hours later the sun dips below the horizon, bathing the world in black. Aster simply pulls the car over and decides to shake Jack awake. Jack starts into consciousness with a small grunt, flailing slightly at the new surroundings.

They eat lukewarm pizza pockets for dinner in the bed of the truck with absolutely zero regrets.

Aster that Aster takes use of the first aid kits to patch Jack up. The kid flinches at the first touch of the sterilizing alcohol on his beaten face, but eventually settles into it as Aster rubs his face fully clean, the Aussie doing his best to gently nudge his nose back into position.

It still hurts like a bitch, but it's the thought that counts.

After that it's a simple matter of wrapping his wrist and their impromptu doctor's visit is over. However, Aster notes rather awkwardly, their faces are _really_ close together, and Jack looks _really cute_, and.

And.

Jack's lips are on his.

The kiss is soft and innocent, even as Jack manages to worm his way onto Aster's lap with no resistance from the Aussie at all. Jack's arms wrap around Aster's neck to deepen the kiss, even as Aster's hands grab at his hips to reel him in closer. Eventually they break for air, staring at each other in mild shock, just before Jack lets out an unattractive giggle-snort and buries his face into the crook of Aster's neck.

"Whatcha laughing about, frostbite?" Aster says, a little put out.

"Your face," The kid laughs, clinging to Aster in a pseudo hug. "You look so fucking confused oh my god."

Jack finally gets over his giggle fit and makes himself home on Aster's lap, curling close to him as they sit in the back of the truck. Aster curls his arms around the thin hips before him, setting his chin on Jack's head and pulls the boy closer. Jack lets out a contented noise and curls into Aster's chest, happy to sit there with him under the light of the full moon.

(THIS IS A LINE, ISN'T IT BEAUTIFUL?)

They actually manage to drive for a good day and a bit before they run out of gas, and even then it's right outside yet another small town. They stash the car on an abandoned rural street but carry all the more important things with them when they leave, just in case of an emergency escape. Jack's wrist is still rather swollen but definitely less painful than the day before, maybe because of the medical cuddling, maybe because of the crap and a half load of pain killers, we'll never know.

Aster holds onto the crossbow in one hand, gas tank in the other. Jack takes the bolt cutters, claiming that they were officially his new favorite toy. Aster just rolls his eyes but keeps half an eye out anyways, knowing Jack's injured even if the white haired kid tries to play it off as no big deal.

They wander through the town, mostly abandoned even by the undead. Once they get to the main street there are at least twenty zombies shuffling around, most in good condition. Not wanting a fight, they scurry away without being seen, hiding on a convenience store rooftop.

"We could do what Pitch was doing," Jack suggests, "Make a larger noise far away and draw them all there while we raid the gas station over here."

"And how would we make the noise?" Aster asks moodily, wanting to just get somewhere safer and on the road.

"I dunno, maybe light something on fire? They're attracted to light too, remember? We just need something to draw them away from over here."

"Do you want the whole town goin' up in smoke ya daft bastard?"

They continued to bicker quietly for a good ten minutes, until the fates decided to intervene before they grew old and died because of their inability to agree on a single thing like the children they really were.

That intervention happened to be a great big zombie distracting pair of screams coming from two blocks over, loud enough for it to be easily audible to Jack and Aster yet high pitched enough for them both to easily be able to tell who was screaming.

Children.

"Oh my god." Jack whispers, looking towards the direction the screaming was coming from with a forlorn expression. "We can't just. Aster, we need to help them, I don't care how dangerous it could be, we've _got_ to."

"I know, Jackie." Aster nods, "But we'll all be up a creek without a paddle if we don't get that gas."

Jack paces furiously for a good ten seconds, smacking his head as he tries to come up with any ideas before his face suddenly lights up.

"Idea!" He hisses, "Okay, you go get the kids. I'll gas up the truck while you go Rambo and save them, yeah? I'll bring the truck here, be ready to meet me, okay?"

Aster wants to protest, but the screaming is getting more and more panicked, so he can't help but nod.

"Ten minutes." He says gruffly, though he does accept the high five Jack gives him. Together they scoot down to ground level again, only stopping for a quick kiss before heading off in their own directions. The undead clogging the streets have long since shambled off, heading towards whatever kids were screaming over yonder. Aster follows far behind, getting more and more cautious as the screaming gets louder and the zombie to human ratio slowly tips out of Aster's favor.

That is, until, he sees the house.

The single story is a cute little cottage type home with a larger tree in the background, though the zombies pouring through the broken back gate rather ruins the picturesque quality of the building. Bunny waits until most of the hoard's made it's way into the backyard before scurrying across the street and into the house proper. The house reeks of homey touches and family, and it hurts Aster's heart to rush past the upturned furniture and smashed baby photos and up the stairs without paying any real respects.

But he's got more important things to do.

Aster stalks into the first room he sees, a young girl's bedroom, and looks out the window into the backyard, preparing for the worst.

He's not really all that surprised.

Two young children, a boy and a girl, have climbed up the large oak tree out of undead reach and are clinging for dear life as a hoard of at least thirty zombies try to shake the tree roughly enough to force them to let go. As of yet the kids are unsuccessful, though the younger girl, only looking to be about five, is slowly losing her grip despite her brother's (probably around ten) best attempts. They're both screaming in terror, clinging to the tree with all their might.

Aster decides his plan of action quickly. Hefting the crossbow higher, he lines up the first shot.

Aims.

Fires.

The first zombie goes down without a sound, the rest of the hoard uncaring as they continue forwards with their attack on the tree. The kids look over to the window, therefore Aster, in shock. Aster waves a quick hand at them before taking another pot shot, catching another zombie in the head. Then again, with the sheer number of them it was rather hard to _miss_.

Aster takes out a good ninety percent of them before they catch any wind at all, and by this point Aster's almost out of arrows, and thus he just takes to grabbing a bat from a second bedroom (the boy's) and heading down to finish the last of the group off.

It, on whole, takes a whole ten minutes. Then again, Jack's not really one to be on time for _anything ever_, so Aster feels like he's enabled to this one.

Once the grisly work is done Aster gestures for the kids to come down, though they still look a little apprehensive.

"It's alright." Aster calls to them softly. "They're all taken care of. My name's Aster, what's yours?"

"Jaime." The boy says, unmoving from his position, "And my sister's name is Sophie." The little girl waves at him.

"Pleasure to meet ya." Aster says as he begins to collect any unbroken arrows for further use, trying to ignore the squelching sound they make when exiting the undead bodies.

"Now," Aster continues. "It's not exactly a safe place to be here, or anywhere really, without an adult to watch over ya."

"Our parents were watching over us." Jamie cuts in. "But dad and mom got sick, just like everyone else."

"... I see." Oh shit, those poor kids. Had their parents turned in front of them? Jesus Christ, that would fuck up any kid for life. "Well, I'm sorry to hear that. But listen, it's not safe. Me and my mate Jack, we've got a car with two empty seats and a safe place to head towards. It's up to you two, but we're offering a safe passage to a sanctuary."

He has no fucking clue if "Grandpa North's" place was really still safe, let alone standing, but the kids didn't know that.

Jaime looks at him with caution, but nods all the same before slowly climbing and helping his sister to the ground. Sophie looks around with fear before rushing to Bunnymund, clinging to his pant leg.

"Thanks Mr." She says softly. Jaime looks shell shocked but stable.

"No problem ankle biter." Aster responds quietly, patting her on the head. "Now we've just got to go meet up with Jack and all'll be aces-"

"Oh, _now_ you want to meet up with Jack!" Comes an outraged voice from behind them. The kids turn in fear, as does Aster though for a completely different reason, to stare at Jack. The white haired kid is _furious _looking, complete with tapping foot and crossed arms, and Aster shudders at the verbal lashing he's about to get.

"You're _late_." Jack hisses. "I was waiting for _twenty minutes_ and you didn't show up. I. I thought. _Fuck _I hate you sometimes."

"Watch yer language, Jackie." Aster says slowly and causally backing the fuck away from the angry boyfriend. Jack stalks forwards with every single step, before making a fist and punching Aster in the chest with not-complete-but-almost strength. Aster grunts at the impact but still accepts the following clingy hug with grace as well, trying his best to not be awkward in front of the children who may or may not even know what 'gay' means yet.

Jack buries his face into the junction of Aster's neck and shoulder, before quickly letting go and pushing the Aussie away.

"I'm still mad." He grumbles before turning around and walking back out front. Aster looks at the kids, shrugs, and ushers them forwards. Jack's just gone ahead and haphazardly parked on the front lawn. The truck's only just stopped in front of a tree, with Jack stewing in the passenger side.

"Is your boyfriend mad at you because you came to get us?" Jaime asks softly, looking up at Aster with wide eyes. Sophie grabs at Bunny's hand and pulls him forwards as he does his best to answer.

"Nah," He responds. "Jack's the one who made us split up in order to get to you two quicker. We heard ya screaming a good three blocks away. He's mad because we agreed I'd be back with you rugrats in ten minutes, but I guess I was later than I thought. He was just worried."

Jaime snickers, and then looks up at Aster as Jack again exits the car to help Sophie put on her seatbelt. "So he is your boyfriend then?" Jaime asks.

"Yeah." Aster responds gruffly, leading Jaime to the other side of the car.

"That's okay, our uncle Chuck and his husband Mike already explained that whole thing to us, didn't he Soph?" Jaime asks, ticking the little girl's belly.

Sophie just laughs and flails as Aster gets into the drivers side and revs the engine. Jack takes the moment to turn around and pester the kids.

"Seatbelts?" He calls out. The kids holler their affirmative. "Anyone have to use the bathroom?" They both shake their heads.

"Alright then." Jack smiles. "Let's go!"

Aster backs out, and they leave the home behind. They sit in silence until Aster gets them back onto the highway again. That's when Jaime pipes up in the background.

"So, what's with the broken windows?" He asks loudly, looking around.

Jack looks at Aster and just starts laughing.

They carry on.

(THIS A LINE, ISN'T IT BEAUTIFUL?)

Jack, Aster, Jamie, and Sophie manage to survive the drives without any major incident. Jack's a wonder with the kids, probably from keeping his sister entertained on hundreds of roadtrips. Jaime and Soph are little angels for the most part, though Jaime tends to ask a lot of questions, especially once Sophie's out and asleep.

"What happened to your wrist?" He asks Jack at one point. Jack answers truthfully. "I had to dislocate it in order to slip a pair of handcuffs."

Jaime's eyes go wide at this, and he quickly asks why. Aster sees a chance and takes it.

"He had to escape a man who was going to make Jackie his war bride, now didn't ya hun?" He asks sarcastically, not looking at Jack's expression.

Which means he doesn't see the rather hard punch to his arm coming.

"_Shut up_!" Jack hisses, quickly trying to save the situation. "It wasn't like that, I swear. The dude caught us and tried to steal all our sh-stuff, and he chained us to a pole to keep us from leaving."

"And he wanted to turn ya into his _blushing bri-_"

"Shut _up_ before I shove your crossbow up your _ass_ you jerk!" Jack punches him again. "He was just being a creep, it was to throw me off my game. God Aster you're such a dick."

"Mindin' the language, love." Aster says.

He gets a kick and a punch this go around, but it's so worth it.

They drive for days, Jack directing and Aster driving. Jack's wrist is slowly gaining feeling again, though it's slow going. His face, on the other hand, heals quick. The black eye is more yellow, and his nose in on the fast track to healing. Jaime and Sophie begin to open up to the two quickly, and it soon becomes a fucked up version of a family road trip. Jack even forgives Aster as much as he can, though the white haired kid just _loves_ bringing it up to guilt Aster into doing stuff for him.

On day six of Jack and Aster's life threatening cross country tour, they hit the small army base of Santoff Claussen. Jack's giddy with excitement, especially as they pull up to the outskirts of town only to be met with a concrete barricade. A _manned_ concrete barricade.

The wall is huge, at least five meters tall and gods know how thick. It's no wonder Jack was so assured of his grandfather's survival.

"State your names, purposes for visits, and any and all weapons you have on your persons." A woman says quickly as they pull up, that is until her eyes fall on Jack.

"Hey, Tooth." Jack says softly.

"JACK!" She squeals, "Oh my _god_ you're okay! We tried so hard to reach you oh my god North's going to blow a _gasket_ when he hears about this but... where's Emma?" She says, confused as she checks the car's interior.

Jack's face is enough of an answer.

"Oh, baby." She says it softly, looking ready to cry. "You can go through, all of you." She waves to a man on top of the wall, who must have a switch to open the gate.

"We've got backup power." Tooth explains, solar and wind. It's good to see you Jack."

They drive through into the most normal city they've seen in little under a week.

Santoff Claussen is small, with barely anything bigger than a four story apartment building, but it's sturdy. Jack directs them through the town until they pull up at a rather large Victorian style house, all painted red.

Jack nearly bolts from the car, running forwards toward the door. Aster's just barely out of the car in time to see Jack being swallowed up by a massive red clad man's arms, completely enveloping the boy as the man shouts in a Russian accent.

"My boy!" The man, who must be North laughs. "My precious grandson, you are okay! Is wonderful! And you bring friends, wonderful! Please, come in! Tell me of your adventures!"

Aster ushers the kids inside, doing his best to not be awkward. He fails miserably as Jack runs into the kitchen to greet a second person, who Aster has yet to meet though he does see a shock of blond hair only a short ways from the ground.

"And who are you?" The mountain man says from behind a massive white beard.

"E. Aster Bunnymund, sir." Aster says formally, sticking a hand out for a handshake. The hand is ignored for a bone cracking hug as North draws him close.

"I am told you and Jack are dating! No need for formalities, that practically makes us family!" North laughs before sweeping Jaime and Sophie up, one on each arm, and toting the laughing children into the kitchen with Aster not far behind.

The kitchen is small but airy, homey and modern all at once. Jack waves Aster over from the table, which was tucked away in a small nook, where he and the blonde man sat.

"This is Sanderson." Jack says, "One of North's friends." Sanderson waves hello and begins to sign things out with his hands. Mute, then. Aster's expression must give away his lack of knowledge of sign languages, because Jack laughs and translates.

"He's thanking you for keeping me safe, as though I couldn't do that myself." Jack rolls his eyes and grumbles, even when Sandy casually slaps at his arm. Jaime and Sophie rush out of the screen door to Jack's left, running out into the backyard to play with a massive bear of a dog that had been lounging out there.

"That's Phil," Jack says happily catching Asters stare. "He's good with kids."

North is a loud, impressive man, who only scares Aster a little, especially after North threatens to skin him if Aster dares to break Jack's heart. Aster, who very much values his skin, goes off to hide behind Jack for the next hour.

They spend a week in North's house before North offers them a permanent place to stay in town. Jaime and Sophie are offered a place in North's home, which they readily accept, and Jack and Aster are set up in a lovely little one bedroom, two bath apartment. Seeing as they'd spent the last six days sleeping in the woods and in cars, it's heaven on Earth the first time they sleep on a real bed (though eventually they don't bother to do much sleeping).

After a few weeks in paradise, Aster finds himself sitting on the roof of their apartment, Jack sitting content in his lap much like they had their first night together. They look skywards at the half moon, relishing in the amount of stars they can see from their place. The town always goes dark at night so as to not attract any unwanted attention, and it always made for such wonderful stargazing.

Jack shifts slightly in Aster's hold, leaning up to nuzzle at the underside of the Aussie's chin before pulling Aster down for a kiss.

Aster grins into the kiss, pulling Jack closer and doing his best to not grope because _groping is how you ruin a romantic moment_. And ruining romantic moments is what got you on the couch. That's bad. Jack just sighs happily, watching the moon.

"You know what?" He says suddenly, breaking their silence.

"Wha?" Aster asks, half asleep.

"I think we're going to be okay, don't you?" Jack answers.

"Yeah." Aster says going in for another kiss. "Yeah, I think we are."

And they carried on.

**A/N **AND IT'S DONE. CHRIST ALMIGHTY THAT WAS LONG. Like, it was a labor of love but I'M GETTING CARPEL TUNNEL FOR YOU PEOPLE! And yeah. No excuse, I just wanted to write Jackrabbit Zombies. So sue me?

As always, I love to hear feedback, so if you've got anything you'd like to say (loved it, hated it, stop comment whoring) I'd love to hear it! Also, if you catch the Motorcity pairing then I salute you!

And thus, my loves, I bid thee adieu!


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